Change takes time......
Well isn't that the story of my life. Sometimes I feel like I am the most impatient person in the world. I feel like things are so out of my reach. It's frustrating. It was about a year ago when me and mike made the decision to move back to california so he could go back to school. The year feels like it has gone by so fast, but so slow at the same time. Mike is done with school and looking for a job (well, he actually got offered a job, but is not sure if he wants to drive the 405 everyday). I try to think about moving out and I just dont see how that is going to happen. It's so expensive, it's just not fair. You try to be a good person and make the right choices in life and work hard for the things that you want and just hope that things fall into place. it's frustrating when your almost there and then life throws you a curve ball. I know people who have things handed to them or just seem to have all the luck in the world, what the hell happened to me? Where was I when god was giving people breaks? I'm not saying my life is horrible. I appreciate everything in my life, things could always be worse. I just wish things were easier. But I guess everyone feels that way at some point or another. I think about getting our own place and being able to afford to take Ryan on vacations and trips and what about having another child? I know how expensive that is, how are we ever going to afford that and still have the quality of life that we want to have. I look 5 years into the future and think about all the things that I want and just can't figure out how it's all going to happen. I can barely save money and when I do, something comes up and POOF there goes all of that money and then it takes me another 6 damn months to save it again. I'm stuck, i'm stuck in a big rut. I try to be positive and looks at things from a different prospective, but it's really hard at times. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because all I think about is money, money, money. I've realized that I will never have enough money. I just want so badly to have our own lives, our own place and to be able to do things on our own without the help of everyone else. Believe me, I appreciate all of the help that we have gotten. We wouldn't we where we are today without it. I just want us to be able to do it on our own. Sometimes I feel like we will be living here forever...........................
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I'm sorry money is tight right now for you guys. Gas is through the roof everywhere but a dollar more expensive than it is out here. Housing man if Chris and I could aford it out there we might be home too. Chris works his ASS OFF everyday at work and is so stressed out sometimes he's the only one with his knowledge and has very little if any help. Everyone right now is stressed for money. But you really have to try and see the positive and be grateful for what blessings you do have. We all make choices in life. Sometimes there good sometimes there bad either way they shape us into who we are what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. All these trials will bring you and Mike closer together it will make you stronger. And when you do it get out on your own and on your feet you will be that much more thankful for all the blessings you'll have. Have some faith Danielle I hate to sound preachy but God is shaping you. He doesn't pick or chose people to "give handouts to" those people have taken there mind and bodies and dedicated it to there convictions and choices to bring them to where ever they're at. Life is all about choices what road are you going to take?
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